During Divorce: Splitting holidays and summer vacations

The first time you look at a calendar after deciding to divorce, the holidays likely stand out like blinking neon lights. You might find yourself wondering who will wake up with the children on Christmas morning, who will take them trick-or-treating, or how you will manage a two-week summer break when you no longer share a home with the other parent. These moments are often the most difficult to negotiate because they are tied to deep emotional traditions and the fear of "missing out" on a child’s milestone memories.

In the experience of attorneys with Marble working with clients at this stage, the goal is often to move away from "winning" a specific day and toward creating a sustainable rhythm for the children. While it feels like every holiday is a high-stakes battle right now, the legal process is designed to create a predictable structure that reduces the need for constant, stressful communication between parents.

Common Strategies for Holiday Splitting

When parents cannot agree on a schedule, courts typically look to standard arrangements that have proven effective for other families. One common approach is the "alternating years" model. In this scenario, Parent A might have Thanksgiving in even-numbered years while Parent B has it in odd-numbered years. This ensures that over time, both parents get to experience every major holiday with their children.

Another popular method is the "split-day" arrangement. This is often used for holidays like Christmas or birthdays, where the child spends the morning with one parent and the afternoon/evening with the other. Attorneys who work with Marble often see that while this sounds fair in theory, it can be exhausting for children who have to spend their holiday traveling between houses. A "reality check" for many parents is that sometimes giving up a specific day every other year is actually more peaceful for the child than forcing a mid-day transition.

Handling Summer Vacations

Summer vacation presents a different challenge because of its length. Unlike a single holiday, summer usually requires a block of time that allows for travel or extended relaxation. Many parenting plans include a "right of first refusal" or a specific window where each parent can choose two to four weeks of uninterrupted time.

Attorneys who work with Marble often hear clients describe a fear that the other parent will take the children out of the state or country without notice. To prevent this, successful plans usually require a "notification period"—a set amount of time before the vacation starts where the traveling parent must provide an itinerary, contact information, and flight details. This helps maintain trust and ensures both parents are aware of the children's whereabouts.

Why the Details Matter

The success of a holiday schedule often depends on the logistical "fine print" that people overlook during the initial stress of a split. For example, what time does "Thanksgiving" actually start? Does it begin when school lets out on Wednesday, or on Thursday morning? Who is responsible for the driving if the parents live in different towns?

This is why Marble Law emphasizes a comprehensive intake process. By providing information about your family’s specific traditions, your work schedule, and the children’s school calendar, you help attorneys who work with Marble identify potential conflict points before they become arguments. Attorneys who work with Marble use technology-assisted workflows to organize these scheduling details, which can help matters progress efficiently. This preparation ensures that during your initial attorney review, the focus is on a specific, workable calendar rather than vague promises. Completing the intake information fully helps the attorney understand if you need "temporary orders" to protect your upcoming vacation plans while the divorce is pending.

Why Individual Circumstances Override General Rules

Parents may deviate from the standard if they agree too. For example, a "standard" holiday schedule is rarely a perfect fit for every family. If your family celebrates cultural or religious holidays that aren't on a standard court calendar, or if a parent’s work schedule involves rotating shifts, the application of a generic template can sometimes create more tension than it solves and a lawyer can help customize the circumstances for each family.

State-Specific Note

The way holidays are defined varies significantly by jurisdiction. Some states have "standard possession orders" written into the law that act as a default if parents cannot agree. Other areas may have specific rules about "Monday holidays" and how they interact with a parent’s regular weekend. Additionally, some jurisdictions have more formal requirements for international travel notice than others, especially in states that border other countries.